How to survive in Paris

Here are some things I learned during my time in Paris:

1. Avoid the 1 train. This is the most packed train you will ever be on. One time I had one foot in the train and the other on the platform. I’m still trying to figure out how I got that foot on the train before it being cut off. There was literally no room to move. There’s a picture on Facebook to prove this.

2. You can easily identify your subway stop by the smell of the station. I kid you not. I don’t remember the name of our station for the hotel, but I knew I was at the right one by the smell.

3. No one wears sneakers. Unless its Converse, no Parisian wears sneakers. It’s either flats, but usually heals, and dress shoes. I’m pretty sure Amadi was embarrassed to walk in public with me because I wore my sneakers.

4. You can easily find a tourist if he complains about how his feet hurt. Paris, I literally walked a thousand miles to see you! Cobblestone is not feet friendly. I was about to cut my feet off and donate it. But hey, I figured out how to stop obesity in America. Add a million stairs, get rid of cars, and make people walk. That’s what Europeans did and I swear I think I was the biggest person on the street.

5. The French like to put random phrases in their conversations that don’t make sense when translated in English. I would tell you some but I don’t know how to spell them.

6. The crepes are baller.

7. 70% of women and 50% of men own Longchump. It's just the accessory to have in Paris or even Wheaton campus. But I’m pretty sure God intervened so I wouldn’t get one.

8. If you want the best deal for dinner, go with a group of more than 15 people and watch how waiters will hackle with you to get your business. One of our offers was free drinks and a meal consisting of an appetizer, entree and desert for 11 euro.

9. Fairies took care of me while I was at the hotel. My room was not only cleaned, but my pjs that I threw on my bed every morning was folded for me at night. This happened every day except my last day there. I think they discovered my hidden stash of Nutella I may have stolen from the kitchen.

10. Uniform: black and grey with the occasional accent colors. Other than a an accessory, no one wears colors.

11. If you have an opportunity to sit, TAKE IT! You walk for so long, you really don't know the next time you will ever sit down.

12. The bathrooms, not so great. Unfortunately, Paris did not invest in the self cleaning toilets Switzerland has. You're best bet is take your mom's advice and go before you leave the hotel.

13. If you are having a conversation on the train and you notice the person across from you smiling to themselves, it means they understand English. You may want to save your conversation of NY is the city of insomniacs for when you get home.

14. Europeans love spiral staircases.

15. Its safe to assume that everyone smokes in Paris. If you don't, people will know you are a foreigner.

If you can remember all this then you can fool anyone that you are Parisan.